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Every few months or so I get the bright idea that I might want to start blogging again. I get this brilliant idea for a post, but the sheer energy it takes me to even think about putting pen to paper (or in my case, hands to keyboard) is enough to keep these delightful pearls of wisdom away from this world wide web. I'm not sure if you should consider yourselves lucky per say but seeing as though I can almost guarantee no one will be reading this but me, I'd say you, whoever you may be out there, are lucky. To say I miss writing, well now that would just be one big giant understatement. I think about it all the time. Things will pop into my mind at the most inopportune moments, such as when I am elbows deep in suds in the kitchen sink, washing yet another mountainous pile of bottles. No, not vodka bottles. Baby bottles. Although the other option would be more fun and probably steer this blog in an entirely different direction. I will write out thoughts in my head, hoping that when I get a spare moment I will remember enough of it to put it on paper or get it somewhere on my computer, before my newly mommy-brain kicks in and everything is wiped clean. And every so often, a savory gem will pop in my head when I do in fact have a moment. These are hard to come by an typically filled with me taking a much needed shower at break neck speed, which at times has almost lived up to its name of break-neck. The times I have managed to carve out a bit of space to write, its hard. It feels...unnatural. Which if you know anything about me, which me being the only reader here, I do in fact, this should not be the case for me. Now don't get me wrong. Just because I say that writing should in fact feel natural for me, is not me making any claims that I might be good at it. Just that it's something I did for a long time. And ok, maybe a teensy bit that I feel I may be good at it. Or at least that I was pretty good at it. It's weird to feel rusty at this. Now I am plenty smart, however, the way I write and what I do in my day to day life typically involves a different part of my brain. So when I sit down to write, often I stump myself on the words I'm looking for to express myself. Its been so long since I've used words like inopportune and mountainous or the like. Unless I'm calling my husband a mountainous poop-head. And that doesn't happen often. At least not to his face. It's weird to sit down to do something so familiar and be at a loss of what I am trying to say, and the words it takes to say it. Or to dust my old friend, wit, off the shelf and try to use it in its proper context. My brain feels fuzzy even now as I attempt to explain how fuzzy I feel. I guess I should chalk it up to having had a baby 10 weeks ago, to not having wrote (written?) in such a very long time. Either way, I have this need to write, fuzzy or not. I'm hoping my lack of intellectual stimulation hasn't done some permanent damage to my brain that will result in me only being able to call my husband a big poop head and make this writing thing hard hard each and every time. I'm not sure what this space will be for me but if anything maybe it can become a place of comfort again.

Things I miss about my old town:

Knowing where things are around the valley.

Spending Friday night dinner with my family

Chipotle

Driving down the 101 at sunset (after rush hour of course)

BBQ's by the pool

Iced tea in my Aunt's backyard

Living a few miles away from my best friend

$1.00 bowling and beer nights

Watching Chelsea Lately before bed

Baseball games with Rachel

Things I love about my new town:

Having pine trees right out our back door

Pretty houses with front porches

Eating ice cream with Jason downtown

Feeling cozy in our new place

Jason bringing me flowers cause he knows I'm homesick

Being proud that we are starting our life together

Getting used to the idea...

Well we are finally somewhat settled in our new town after a long and crazy weekend! We worked out all the small kinks that come along with moving into a new place i.e. having no hot water, locking ourselves out of the place (with a very funny story of me climbing the second story landing), having no internet or cable (I know its lame that that was upsetting but we are both pretty attached to our electronics), and just finding a place for all of our stuff in a place that's just a tad too small. All in all, things are finally put away, there are only a few boxes left to sort through and find a place for and decorations are up, that it is finally looking like a real home. It's weird though, after all the buildup of moving and being excited for a new life, once it was here I feel a little unglued about it all. I think it just might be all the newness and excitement that has surrounded us in the last few months that are catching up to me, but even still, I find myself missing the most interesting things (although absurd might be a better word). So let me ask you, have you ever moved to a new city and started over? What was that journey like for you? How did it finally start to feel like home?

Well that's all for now. J is at work for the day and I still have some puttering around to do! Hope you are all having a really great beginning to the week!!

Aimee

Silver lining

Well what should have been a quick visit to the dentist turned into a 5 hour all day ordeal. Not only that I did not eat anything before going this afternoon for fear of having something in my teeth. By days end I was a grumpy, hungry girl....but man my teeth look whiter than they have in years! It was enough to get me flashing these pearly whites at everyone who crossed my path.

Just another reason to smile :)

new beginnings!

Its been quite some time since I last posted and I don't really know where to begin to catch everyone up on the happenings that have been going on in my life! This year has been one for the books on major changes happening in my life starting with getting a new job back in February, going on a cruise, getting engaged on said cruise, my fiance getting a job in a small town in Northern Arizona, and now facing our big move in less than a week! WHEW! Its exhausting just typing it!!

So I finally buckled down and found a job I can consider a career move, finally putting my parents hard earned money for a college degree to work. (Although, in saying that, I did all the HARD work) I got a job as a BHT in a group home facility for severe mentally ill homeless adults. That's a mouthful huh? The past 6 months have been challenging and stressful at times, but often I feel as though I'm really a part of something good. Its a good feeling to have at the end of the day. One I try to embrace on the days when I leave with one of those not-so-good feelings! I'm hoping the experience I've gained will be enough to help me find similar work in our new city (yep we are moving and I don't have a job to go to...talk about sheer terror!)

So we also went on a cruise to Hawaii with my family and some family friends. There was a group of about 14 of us and most of us younger folk had never been to Hawaii or anywhere even like it. Let me tell you it was incredible! We were lucky that we took a cruise because it allowed us to see a lot of the islands in a shorter amount of time than if we just traveled there. Also on the cruise, my boyfriend surprised me and PROPOSED! Right in front of my entire family at one of the dinner nights. I was completely shocked and it took me about an hour to get my bearings and really realize what happened. I pretty much walked around in a daze staring at my finger while everyone around me hugged us. Finally I got it together and we ended up having the trip of a lifetime. There was so much joy surrounding us the whole time and it really meant a lot to me that he wanted to include my family in it knowing how close I am with them.

So I don't know if I've posted before that J was going to school to be an EMT, but he finished school and had sent out some resumes all around Arizona and to his disappointment didn't hear anything back. The job market in Phoenix is rough right now and it was looking like the only way he was going to find something without having much experience was to move out of state. We tooled around with the idea of moving to Colorado to see if there was any better luck there (plus one of my cousins lives there with his wife and he was really pushing for it). While we on the cruise though J got a call back from one of the companies he applied to 4 months prior, and they asked him to come in for an interview when we got back. Long story short and many drives up north later he got the job! The best choice was for us to relocate and we found a place to live (which the whole experience of that is the subject for another blog another day) and the rest is to be continued as of the end of this week!

Sorry about the novel- that pretty much sums up my life for the last half a year! So many changes and new things to come! Have a wonderful Sunday!!!

AHHH Its Christmas Eve and I have a totally busy day ahead of me but I had to find a second to write how excited I am for the holidays to finally be here! Usually time passes me so quick before the holidays working and trying to shop for everyone in my insanely large family that I don't get to let the anticipation build up but this year was different. Jason definitely helped with that one, taking me to a Christmas lights show, wrapping my presents and putting them under the tree early so all I could do is stare at them. Today will be spent with his wonderful family for our first Christmas together (and our one year anniversary today also ;) and then tomorrow we will do it all over again with my family. It was really nice that it worked out that way this year so that we don't have to rush four Christmases into one day and not get to spend as much time with everyone as we might like to. Hopefully in the future we can continue this tradition of doing this way so we don't have to miss out.
I'm looking very forward to the end of 2009 and a beautiful 2010. It has been a very stress-filled end of the year with many unfortunate things happening at work right now (including some scary stuff that I won't get into but maybe a well wish or two my way??) At the beginning of one year together I see the makings of a very happy life together and that truly is exciting and new to me. I hope everyone out there gets all their hearts desires this year and brings in a safe and happy New Year!!

New Years Eve come early

After my last blog I felt very negative and complainy (my blog I can make up words if I want to) so I made a decision yesterday to change my outlook. I know as good as anyone else that your thoughts set the stage for your day, life, etc and its up to me to see the world through whatever colored glasses I choose. So today is a new day. I'm trying my New Year's resolution early, figuring that if I start now by the actual new year I will be already on my way to a happier 2010. I'm one of those typical resolvers that will pick something I know is good for me, work on it for about two weeks, and then give it up without a blink of an eye, claiming its too hard, I don't have time, TV is more fun, whatever. This time however, rather than choose to work out more or quit smoking ( I know I know I really NEED to stick to that one) I am deciding to be a better person. Well, that encompasses A LOT. Not that I'm a bad person per say but that can be applied to a very large part of someone's life. I came to the realization that so much of my day is taken up complaining about other drivers, talking about people who bother me or judging someone else's life choices rather than focusing on the only thing around me that I can actually change, myself. I spent a very good year of my life a few years ago ridding myself of any negative talk about anyone else and myself. I only filled my days with people, things, work that were positive and uplifting. It was a peaceful year. Somewhere along the way normal frustrations of life overtook and I am at where I am now. Complainy. So I am adjusting my focus once again to get back to that wonderful place. I know it won't be easy. This resolution will be more of an awareness than an actual act. I will have to hold myself accountable and find other ways to release my frustrations. Because in reality being frustrated with people around me really isn't making my life better in the long run. Worrying about what other people are doing that may bother me, is taking my attention off of the things I need to do. Its giving me something else to focus on instead of fixing the things in my own life that might frustrate someone else. And all the negativity is just down right draining. So today it begins. I have choices in what my thoughts and words will be. And I'm choosing happiness.

Aimee