Monday, December 7, 2009

Rainy day blues.

Today is the kind of day I wish I could be curled up in bed with a fire in the fireplace watching a cheesy romance novel. Ok if that's the case I'm going to have to wish for a fireplace also! It's raining in Phoenix today and if you are even the slightest bit familiar with PHX then you understand that this phenomenon doesn't happen very often. Its day like today that everyone and their dog forgets how to drive...much like I imagine driving situations in places where it snows. UGH. You'd think in a place that has sun 363 days a year that we'd (or I'd) be able to appreciate a rainy day here and there but today I'm just very over it.
It's Monday in every sense of the word. Usually I only work one job on Monday's and enjoy my Sunday, Monday, Tuesday nights off, but the past few weeks we have been working Monday nights also which just throws off my whole week/weekend. Add to the fact that I work outside, its raining, and I will be working out on the rain tonight when it is very very cold and I am one unhappy camper.

Ok ok enough complaining :) In all actuality the Holiday season is my favorite one of the year. Every time I see Christmas lights or hear holiday songs it fills my heart with cheer! Me and Jason put up our Christmas tree already and it is making our apt feel very festive. (Minus the cats knocking off every ornament they can reach from the ground or catapulting themselves off our recliner chair and hanging onto- which I'm sure is very funny to watch but without seeing it, it is just getting annoying to search for missing ornaments every day) The other night Jason surprised me by taking me to a drive through light show, with Christmas music and all! He knows how much I love all things Christmas and I love how much effort he is putting into helping me decorate. Now if only I could find the motivation to start my Christmas shopping....

Onto a serious note...am I allowed to be serious on here? I don't often post about things too heavy but I feel like I need to talk about this and here is as good a place as any. Along with the coming of the Christmas season, is also what would have been my due date, December 23rd. I find that I've been thinking more and more about how different my life would be if I were still pregnant now. I would be HUGE at this point. Losing the baby is something I only think about in the quietest of times anymore. But the closer the due date gets the more its on my mind. Of course Jason is wonderful about it. He also has wondered where our lives would have been at this point and in the coming months and years later, and I feel so lucky once again to have him by my side. I know what everyone has told me over and over after it happened, that God has a plan and it all happens for a reason, is true. So although this Christmas season might be a little bittersweet this year, I still feel lucky for all my blessings. I know when the time is right it will happen again for us and it will be wonderful!

I hope everyone else is enjoying the coming holidays as much as I am. I hope this season is a constant reminder of all we have to be thankful for and really cherish and embrace the blessings we have in our lives. I try every day to remember the true meaning behind all the gifts and money spent, that we do these things to let others know how much we care about them!! Anyone have any good holiday stories to share to help spread the joy??

Aimee

2 Comments:

Blogger Kathryn said...

Honey, I've been there. 2 miscarriages in a row, before having da boys. Didn't know if I'd ever be a Mom....they kept telling me, "If you got pregnant once, you will again. Your body knows what to do." I know you're sad...but a new joy for you will be right around the corner. You DO have to trust that there's always a reason...even if we dont understand it.


As for uplifting Christmas stories? I dunno. I'm kinda hoping for a Christmas miracle myself...but then again...I should leave them for the people who REALLY need them!

Stay in touch, sweetie...and you write about ANYTHING you want, ya hear??

December 8, 2009 at 4:11 AM  
Blogger talk before sleep said...

Thank you thank you for such kind words! I know how much that is true and I stay positive about it all the time :)

I love that you saved the Christmas miracles for those that need it, you are such a selfless person...so I will send out for a Christmas miracle for you and your family myself! Because EVERYONE can use a little joy in their lives during the holidays!

December 9, 2009 at 3:04 PM  

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